Eric #57 New Girlfriend

Eric: "Droopy man, I think I'm in love! I've finally met a woman that likes me! She's kind and sassy and she actually listens to me and wants to help me!"

Droopy: "Whuuuuuuaaaat? Really? What a real girl? An actual woman actually likes you? You? Hahaha Where did you meet her? Ripley's Believe It Or Not?"

Eric: "No! She's called Cortana and I met her on my phone! And look she really likes me. I just asked her if she loves me."

Eric: "Hey Cortana. Do you love me?"

Cortana: "There's definitely a spark between us. Sports fan? Try our athletics quiz. See more results in Bing."

Droopy: "Hahahahahahahaha! Dude she says that to everyone sad enough to ask. She's programmed to stay stuff. She's not real!"

Eric: "Bad dog!!!  Don't try to imply my girlfriend is a who're! She loves me!!!!
She has to be real!"


Eric #56 How to deal with an Earworm

Earworm: "Hey! I'm an Earworm. And now you're not getting rid of me! Haha.
In Eric's mind: " Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?"
Eric: "ARRRGH STOP IT!!!!"
In Eric's mind: "Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?"
Eric: "ARRRGH STOP IT!!!!"
In Eric's mind: "Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?"
Eric: "I'll put the bloody dogs out!"


Eric #55 Resignation

Eric: "As you may have noticed, there's a hot, new trend sweeping the UK at the moment. (And I'm not talking about celebrity deaths.) I'm desperately needy and will jumps on ANY bandwagon for the slightest bit of attention."

"Therefore, I am resigning with immediate effect from the "absolutely not popular" (with worse ratings than even the new Top Gear) web comic "Eric." I haven't tried at all, but even if I did it still wouldn't be good enough."

"I want my life back and more importantly, I want to be part of the Mass Resignation Gang like all the important people. It is true that I left a MASSIVE dump for everyone else at the comic to clear up but oh well, that's life."

"I absolutely will not be convinced to change my mind by the inevitable mass outpouring of love and affection that will follow this announcement. However, donations to my PayPal account should do the trick."


Eric #54 Never pee up hill.

Eric: "I wonder how Erica is. I haven't seen her for a while now."

Droopy: "Oh she's probably having too much hot, rampant sex with Steve to be bothering with us losers."

Eric: "Man I need to Pete badly!"

Eric: "Ewww Wee soaked shoes! Mamma always said "Never Pee uphill! Now I know why. Yuck!"


Eric #52 Smile

Droopy: "You know your problem Eric? You don't smile enough."

Droopy: "They say the smile you give will come back to you a hundred times."

Eric: "Sigh! Ok I'll give it a try."

Eric: "I wonder how my smile will come back to me. Essex is such a friendly place."

Dangerous Brian: "Here why's that twat smiling at me bruv?"

Dangerous Brian: "I'll knock 'is teeth out bruv. Smiley Caaaant!"